How to Give a Genuine Compliment

The difference between a compliment that makes someone truly feel good, and one that makes one wonder, “What do you want from me,” is the sincerity behind the compliment. I always talk about the importance of building others up, and leaving them better than before. And one of the best ways to leave someone better than before, is by giving a sincere compliment, or a word of encouragement.

It may seem like a simple topic. Most people know how to give a compliment. But not all compliments come across as genuine and authentic. A genuine compliment, is a compliment that’s usually deeper. It goes into more detail. There’s usually a reason behind the compliment.

For instance, one day last week, I was walking down the hallway and I complimented someone. Me being the encouraging person I am, the person who wants to brighten someone’s day, I looked for something that I liked. So I told them, “I like your shirt.”

She was appreciative, and said thank you. But as I made my way down the hall in passing, something didn’t settle right within. Although it was a genuine compliment, I felt like I could’ve poured more from the heart.

I’m not saying it’s bad to tell someone you like their shirt. Rest assured, any uplifting words will do. In fact, it’s always better to spread love and light, than it is to spread negativity. But there has to be a settling on the inside. If there’s anything to take away from these words, let this be your take away- to let your heart be felt. Go deeper.

So today, I found myself looking for opportunities to give a genuine compliment. I told one person that I admire their hard work. I’ve been paying attention to their efforts, and I went into details about why their hard work is an inspiration for me. I told another person that they are always so patient and kind. I told them “every time I have a question or need some assistance, you are always ready and willing to help. That hasn’t gone unnoticed, and I just want to tell you thank you.”

The difference between the compliments I gave today, and the other compliment about liking the person’s shirt, was the response. I could really tell that the genuine, more heartfelt compliments I gave today, left the people better than before.

As I left their presence, you could literally see a glazed over look in their eyes. It was like I caught them off guard, they weren’t expecting it.

I’m asking you today- when was the last time you received a heartfelt compliment? When was the last time someone said something to you that turned your day around? Well you can be that person. You can be a person of praise; a person of grace. Leave someone better than before.

The good thing about practicing this is, it forces you to really pay attention to people. It’s easy to say, “I like your shirt.” Or it’s easy to say, “you have a great smile.” And again, these are great surface level compliments and conversational openers, but you’ll make more of an impact, when you go deeper. It takes a lot more paying attention to people to notice things like, hard work and patience. It forces you to open your eyes and see the good in people.

Too often we’re on the defensive. It’s so easy to see what’s wrong with others, but sometimes we should start looking for what’s right with people. And don’t stop there, tell people what you like about them. One of the greatest gifts you can give yourself, is the gift of giving to others. (Say that five times fast.) And what better way to give to others, than to give a genuine, heartfelt compliment.

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